Santa Banta Jokes: Funny SMS

Santa Banta Jokes » Funny Jokes

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.
Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators

Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said:
I've seen ur password. It’s ****.
Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

Santa falls in love with a nurse...
After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?

Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..

Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home.
The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas

Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: I am giving entrance test."

Teacher to santa: where were you born?
Santa: Thiruvananthapuram
Teacher: can u spell it?
Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.

Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".
(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)
Santa: "Shame on you God, you don't even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.

Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?"
Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.